I’m not going to hate on Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty indifferent to its existence. The dumb posts on Facebook asking friends to inbox you a number on the other hand are super annoying. It makes me want to create a punch enhancement to the poke feature. If you’re going to request I inbox you, it should be about something important. If I liked you, I’d hit on you in person. Or poke you like a normal human being. If you’re too shy to message me without the excuse of Valentine’s Day posts, you should probably man up. Instead of posting this:
So considering valentines day is coming. Post this as your status & see what number people inbox you, 🙂
1- second chance </3
2- your cute :]
3- kiss :*
4- better friendship :]
… … 5- chill , ♥
6- cuddle :xx
7- long term relationship ♥
8- an apology
9- a hug :3 ♥
10- I like you ! :-[
11- I’m crushing on you ♥
12- I dislike you
13- I love you :]
14- will you be my Valentine ? ♥
Which contains a bunch of lame options. Where’s “I’ll make out with you if nothing good is on TV” and “I’ll Facebook creep on you for the rest of my life.” What kind of relationships do these people have? I support posting something like this.
THE WORLDS IS ENDING
Considering the world may come to an end. Post this as you status and see who to hang out with before meeting your doom. Inbox me, and then post this as your status or killer baby clowns will eat you.
- I’d trip you if zombies were chasing us.
- I’d endanger you’re life for a Twinkie or a trip to the amusement park if zombies were chasing us. (Yes, this is a Zombieland reference.)
- I think vampires are sexy and would be no use if they started taking over the world.
- I know Doctor Who and could save you if some sort of alien attack occurs.
- I’m a huge nerd. Maybe you haven’t looked at me before, but once robots start taking over I’ll use my gigantic brain to save your life.
- I live in a bubble and will share said bubble with you in the case of a deadly plague.
- I own one of those really expensive underground bunkers.
- I suppose I’d sleep with you if we were the last two people on Earth and it was the only way to save the human race, but I’d probably keep my eyes closed.
- I’ll use the end of the world as a great excuse to try and get laid. Have I told you how hot you are?
- I’m a huge redneck and will use my many illegally purchased weapons to protect you.
- I’m saintly. So I’ll put in a good word for your soul when the Apocalypse comes.
- I realize the Mayan calendar panic is ridiculous, but hey, want to go out on Valentine’s Day?
Best of luck!