Why I wouldn’t date a muffin.

     I was at a party the other day and one of my friends said, “I’m just too nice of a guy.” Apparently this explained his lack of girlfriend and dating prospects. This led to the “why do nice guys finish last” conversation. I didn’t chime in then, but after giving it some thought I’ve reached a conclusion. It’s because no one likes cupcakes without frosting, but simply being a cupcake isn’t enough. There are plenty of cupcakes in the sea or I guess pantry…

What do I mean? Being nice is not a bonus. It is not like answering an extra credit question correctly. It does not earn your brownie points (okay, I might be a bit hungry while writing this post). Boys get really excited about being nice. Like it makes them the greatest person ever and you should immediately get all hot and bothered. Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.

Let’s say boys are cupcakes (just go with it). The quality of niceness is frosting. I expect some damn frosting on my cupcake. Or else it’s a muffin. I don’t want to date a muffin. Very few people want to date muffins unless they have unresolved Daddy issues or whatever other problems. Being nice is not sprinkles on said cupcake. Sprinkles are unexpected traits like a good sense of humor, super smoking abs, or intelligence. Stop advertising being nice as if it’s your gift to humanity. Being nice isn’t akin to being attractive. It is a vital part of being a decent human being.

Think about it. Your family is probably nice to you, but please don’t start dating them. Hopefully you’re friends are kind to you, but this doesn’t make them ideal date material either. As Napolean Dynamite would tell you, “girls like guys with skills.” (I keep using the girl to guy thing because I personally like guys, but I think this applies to any relationship). Having nice guys as your only selling point is kind of like using “hey, I’ve got a penis” as a pick up line. This won’t work that often. At least not when a date/relationship is the objective. All of the other cupcakes in the pantry have a penis too.  So continue being nice, but learn some skills. The Internet is full of how to articles ad videos. Do you even know how to make cupcakes? You should probably learn. Also, share some with me.

Best of Luck,

Caitlin

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