Why I would kill Harry Potter.

           I waitress during the summer and sometimes this led to a lot of downtime with interesting coworkers. Which I why we used to play this game called Marry, Fuck, or Kill*. Basically you name three people and the persons whose turn it is has to “choose” which person to marry, which person to fuck, and which person to kill. It’s rather awkward to play when using the names of people you know, but can tell you a lot about people when using fictional characters or celebrities. This is a great first date question.

Here’s an example game with Harry Potter characters. The contestants are Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Draco Malfoy**. Since I provided spoilers in the title, I’ll explain my decision in regards to Harry first. I would kill Harry Potter. I feel awful just for typing that sentence. I love Harry and appreciate that he saved the world, but he’s not boyfriend or one nightstand material.

Harry has some personal issues to deal with before dating anyone. Broody and moody holds a certain allure, but it wears off pretty quickly in real life. I’d rather have a happy boyfriend. I feel like Harry does a lot of man pms-ing. Remember when he dated Cho? What a mess. This is part of why he’d be a poor one-night stand. He’d definitely text constantly the next day and overanalyze everything. Plus he’s pretty self-conscious which probably equates to not great in bed.

That leaves Ron and Draco. I’d definitely marry Ron. I can overlook his lack of soul, nobody’s perfect. Hopefully we don’t have ginger children. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, they better make you smile. Plus I’d love to marry into the Weasley family. That leaves sleeping with Draco. In the words of Ron, Draco can be a bit of a git, but I don’t think he’d be an awful one-night stand. He’s quite cocky and I bet his parents bought him a really comfortable mattress. Sometimes girls just have to go for bad boys. There’s no logic to it. It’d be good to get it out of my system before settling down with Ron.

See, wasn’t that a fascinating first date conversation? I’d love to hear your picks in the comments.

Best wishes,


*A more PG version of this game is date, dump, or kiss, but I’m 20 yrs old and over the whole PG thing. If my swearing offends you, you can click the little “x” on the corner of this page and the bad words will go away.

** Good female contestants would be Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, and Ginny Weasley.

***This game would be fun to play with Hunger Games characters, but less people have read the books and I don’t want to spoil it for anyone.


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