My A-Z stance on important political issues

It was great to see President Obama announce his support for gay marriage. Believing politicians should never change their mind represents pure folly. Nothing good comes of a stubborn adherence to old beliefs with utter disregard to new facts, information, or arguments. It’s important people stand up for their beliefs. Speaking of which, I’d like to share some of my beliefs. In case anyone needs a role model in these trying times. Here’s an alphabetical guide to my feelings on important topics like crocs, birth control, and Edward Cullen.

is for anal… people. Calm it down. Do the counting to three thing or punch a wall. I don’t care. Stop sweating the small stuff. Poor children are starving everywhere (not just in Africa whoever made that saying a thing) and no one cares if the staple in the corner of my research paper is horizontal or vertical.

Just think WWBD “What Would a Bro Do?”

is for birth control. Cheaper and more environmentally friendly than continuously popping out children. If obese people expect insurance to cover their many health needs because they don’t want to give up unhealthy food, I expect birth control to be covered because I don’t want to give up sex.


is for crocs. Crocs are ugly. Judging if the amount of comfort they provide is worth the amount of pain they inflict on innocent eyes is a personal matter. I don’t see how it’s possible, but wear what you want. Just know, I think your Crocs look dumb.

I rest my case.

is for dinosaurs. Was Jurassic Park just a big tease? When are dinosaurs coming back? Someone must be working on this. Scientists need to step up the game. I want dinosaurs and space travel. I’d even donate money to these causes in return for a dinosaur or spaceship ride.

is for Edward Cullen. He’s creepy. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle. If someone breaks into your room and watches you sleep, don’t marry that person.

Stalking isn’t sexy.

is for feminism. The meaning of that word seems to vary so I’m not sure I’d call myself a feminist, but I support equal rights. Reproductive organs shouldn’t effect a person’s ability to work too many hours or stay at home caring for children.

is for google. I’m pretty sure google knows everything and am kind of concerned it’ll take over the world. Not too concerned though because if google search didn’t tell me google took over the world I’d probably never know. Maybe China will put up a fight.

is for homosexuality. This is America, land of the free. People should be free to do what they want with their naughty bits.

Love is not a political statement.

is for Instagram. Using instagram is fine, but it doesn’t make you a photographer. I’m not sure what does make you a photographer but I think there’s a test and a required amount of nature pictures and shots with strange lighting.

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Lessons from my first half-marathon

Yesterday I was one of 31,129 people to finish the 500 Festival Mini-Marathon in Indianapolis, Indiana. It’s the largest mini-marathon in the country and was a truly amazing experience. By truly amazing I mean inspiring, sweaty, exhausting, and insane. My main goals were to finish and to run the whole time. Happily I met both of these goals and finished in 2:29:29 which was 15,768 place overall. I’ll take it. Here’s a few life lessons I gleamed throughout this mini-marathon process.

1. Two is better than one

I ran the mini-marathon with my friend Hannah. There is now way I would’ve survived this on my own. Goals are a lot easier with the support of friends. We were able to hold each other accountable for our training and give each other pep talks during the race. I wouldn’t have even signed up for the race if it wasn’t for Hannah and I’m really glad I did. A lot of people only turn to friends when in need and that’s a huge mistake. Friends should push each other to their full potential. That way you have someone to whine to the entire time. One of the most inspiring aspects of the mini-marathon was all of the people running together for good causes. Too often in life are we bringing others down, but at the mini-marathon the course was full of people cheering for human accomplishment. It’s a pretty awesome feeling.

2. You’re never too anything to accomplish your goals

I saw people from all different walks of life running this mini-marathon. Old and young, fat and skinny, pale and tan, male and female, human and extra-terrestrial. So I made up that last one. But really. Stop making lame excuses for not achieving goals. I’m a lazy person with netflix, if I can run a mini-marathon, so can you.

3. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em 

This lesson is courtesy of the thong. Yes, the undergarment. Wedgies while running are the worst. Super awful. I’ll try to avoid going HBO levels of graphic, suffice to say it’s gross. I’ve tried many a pair of underwear (why is it a pair when it’s only one?) to avoid wedgies to no avail. So I gave in to the wedgie and wore a thong. Sorry for the over share, but I’m trying to make the world a better place for women who run and wear underwear. Thongs are the comfy wedgie. Like back massages are sometimes the comfy way of hitting people. Yes, someone is pounding on my back, but it doesn’t fell all that bad. Okay, that might not make a lot of sense. The point is if you can’t change something, make it as bearable as possible. The alternate moral of the story is that thongs aren’t just for seduction. Hello, multi-tasking.

4. Pregaming

Generally pregaming means preparing for a party by partying before the party. That is definitely not what I mean in this instance. Do NOT party before running. You will pay in sweat and tears. What I mean is training. Pregaming just sounds a lot more fun. Pregame life by preparing for events. I’m not sure when it became cool to accomplish tasks with the minimum amount of effort. Goals take effort. All goals. Effort and dedication aren’t a bad thing. If I hadn’t trained for that mini-marathon there is no way I would’ve made it. If only I hade realized this lesson before finals week, my professors probably would’ve appreciated it.

5. I’m sexy and I know it

Music saves lives. Bands and entertainment was present along the whole race route, but I needed my playlist. Specifically engineered for half-marathon motivation, this playlist was a huge motivational help. LMFAO telling me I’m sexy, makes me feel sexy, and makes me want to run. I don’t care if that’s wrong. If loving music is wrong I don’t want to be right. Every once in awhile I need some motivation. I’m pretty sure other people get in similar situations. That’s fine. The world is full of information and other people’s thoughts. I’m sure at least one of those people can inspire you. Find it and use it to your advantage.

6. I can run a half-marathon

This seems rather obvious, but I didn’t believe it until I crossed that finish lining. Sometimes you just have to go for it. Even if I hadn’t finished the half-marathon, I’m still in significantly better shape than before. Sounds like winning to me. Hopefully it’ll inspire me to try new things. If not, at least I prepared for the zombie apocalypse when it comes to cardio.

Go make a goal. Do it. Then brag about it on the internet 🙂

Best Wishes,


P.S. here are my results, it’s kind of fun to see ->my OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini-Marathon – OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini-Marathon results


Hannah and I after the mini-marathon. If this picture was scratch and sniff, it would smell like victory and really sweaty people.