Sometimes I like to pretend I’m grown up. Not today. Today I slept til 1 p.m. and spent the afternoon reading in the sun. Last Saturday though, I started to face my crippling fear of being relied upon by another living creature. Sometimes the fear masquerades as a fear of commitment, but I’m not afraid to commit to others. I just don’t want them to commit to me. The hopes of another person are too heavy. I know that pressure produces diamonds from coal, but not everything is coal. Pressure often just crushes and in the end there’s just this flatness where I wanted a diamond.
Then I remembered that I don’t like diamonds that much anyways so I decided to risk it. Puppies and human beings are a bit too serious to experiment with in order to judge my own dependability so I bought a plant. Her name is Celia and she’s a Potpourri Sky Lavender plant that I purchased from the Farmer’s Market. My getting up early enough on a Saturday to attend the Farmer’s Market already implies a pretty big level of commitment.
Plants are quite a responsibility. It’s an implied agreement to provide sustenance and sunshine. I have to water Celia and open the blinds every morning. Talk about needy. Though I do enjoy that she smells nice and doesn’t run away when I sing out loud. Both admirable qualities in a dorm-mate. Currently she’s survived a week of my care and seems content. Maybe I’m more grown-up than I think. I shall continue with this experiment and try other grown-up endeavors (such as the use of the word shall). My next feat will be making potatoes in the oven and not my microwave. Wish me luck.
(Celia also sends you wishes of wellness because she is quite a nice plant and thus feels inclined towards such behavior)