No Shame November vs. No Shave November

There’s a very controversial time quickly approaching. Beware the month of November or as it’s more colloquially known “No Shave November.”

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Honestly, I’m not ready for Winter or No Shave November.

Almost as importantly it’s election month (get informed and vote) and even more importantly the month of my birthday specifically of the 21st variety (it’s November 5th and I do enjoy presents). Anyways, I digress. Let’s address the issue of proper ways to celebrate November. I would like to propose instead of No Shave November which I don’t find particularly enjoyable that we all embrace No Shame November. I’m not suggesting complete anarchy. Shame is a symptom of a violation of cultural or social value. Boring. Let’s all push some cultural and social values. Personal values will still exist because that’s covered by guilt which is a violation of one’s own personal values. This is simply No Shame month. What would you do with out feeling judged by cultural and social values? Here’s what I imagine why life to look like in two possible future November scenarios.

No Shave November

Yays:

No shaving! This means less time in the shower. Hooray an extra five minutes of sleep.

Nays:

No shaving! Stubbly leg hair is itchy and gross. Maybe if it’d magically transform into long leg hair it’d be tolerable but that isn’t what happens. As a girl only I would know if I didn’t shave but men inflict it on everyone. I have to look at all of the guys who shouldn’t have facial hair trying to have facial hair. It’s often sad and embarrassing. Reminiscent of the bra stuffing faze a lot of girls go through in middle school, but worse because men are old enough to know better. Once you reach your twenties your boob and facial hair situations are set in stone. Don’t kid yourself. I know it’s one month but those pictures will go on the internet and live forever!

And this:

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Who makes this face when smelling an armpit? I’m not sure I’d be okay with this but maybe I’m just unenlightened.

No Shame November

Yays:

Sweet Freedom from Shame! I could wear mismatching socks and admit my inability to drive places and my love of Dollar Tree dinners. The Dollar Tree is a classy place. Society be damned, I shall do as I please!

This includes singing off tune to Christmas carols. Possibly while wearing a Santa hat. In a world of no shame life can be a giant post secret event. I love nerdy things. Walker Texas Ranger was my childhood hero. I once tried meditation in the hopes of transforming into a Saiyan. Cartoon characters are physically attractive. I would definitely date Aladdin (or Genie). We could stop being politically correct. I feel that a lot of very conservative men are afraid of my vagina and it hurts my feelings. So there. Think how interesting conversation would be if we didn’t filter ourselves so much. It’d be great. Or there’d be a lot more fistfights. I’m not sure. Let’s conduct a giant social experiment and find out.

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No one likes the cone of shame. Yes, I’m shamelessly using a sad animal to make my point. Look into his sad dog eyes.

Nays:

Potentially harmful side effects of shameless honesty like loss of friends or future self loathing.

Whatever you decide to do with your November I hope it’s a grand one.

Best of Luck,

Caitlin

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