Things I would rather fund than a presidential campaign

The internet often inspires some of my crazier thoughts. This post is inspired by Twitter. More specifically, this tweet: “Hey, IRS: Instead of a checkbox for WOULD YOU LIKE DONATE TO THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN FUND, can we get GIVE MONEY TO NASA FOR AWESOME SHIT” I saw retweeted by author Laurell K. Hamilton and originally posted by @ragebauer. So here’s a list of things I’d rather fund than a presidential campaign.

 

NASA doing more cool stuff. There’s a rover on Mars! That’s ridiculously awesome.

Zombie Apocalypse preparedness training.

Everyone who is so adamant about the right to own a gun better learn how to use it against zombies.

New seasons of shows that shouldn’t have been cancelled. Most importantly Firefly.

Cheap healthy food. I like my fruits and vegetables thank you very much.

Theme music occurring in real life. Epic aspects of life would increase exponentially in fun.

Iron Man. Why aren’t superheroes real? Someone must be filthy rich and in possession of a mask.

Time travel. Apparently this isn’t possible according to current physics understanding, but I’m willing to overlook physics.

George R. R. Martin writing faster.

More self-checkouts at stores. I hate buying awkward things in front of a cashier. Yes, I do want chocolate, ice-cream, tampons, and this trashy romance novel. Thanks for the judgmental look.

A program to create a sexy new American accent.

Self-washing clothes.

Cosmopolitan for men.

Conversion to the metric system.

Go USA we will not give into peer pressure or common sense.

Bringing back the dinosaurs. I want a pet velociraptor.

Miniature versions of bigger things. Because the Earth possesses limited space and resources. Also, petite lap giraffes. I want one.

Everything is cuter in miniature.

An equation for the perfect chip to dip ratio.

A campaign to make the world a better place by refusing to start anything before 10 a.m.

Finally someone who understand real world issues.

A 24 hour help hot-line for older generations trying to use technology. Someone deserves to get paid for helping these people instead of it creating family strife when children have to explain the use of Facebook.

A teleportation device. As an out of state student I’d really appreciate this technology. Good-bye long car drives.

Creation of a universal language. Ideally one that makes more sense than English or Chinese.

Public napping spaces. Basically I support a well rested country.

 

There you have it. That’s how I’d like my money spent. Feel free to encourage me to run for political office. Personally I’d like to be a Texas Ranger or a Slayer. What causes would you support financially?

Best wishes,

Caitlin

 

 

 

 

 

My nerd application

Recently I’ve needed to defend my self-identifying with the term nerd. Here’s some of my qualifications: I’ve got 101 pins on my Nerd board on Pinterest. I’m currently re-watching Avatar the Last Airbender. I took a Latin class. For fun. During the summer. I read the book before I see the movie. In the interest of full disclosure I usually do so more than once. I was incredibly saddened not to receive my Hogwarts letter and equally disappointed that Giles didn’t come to my high school and inform me I was a slayer. I believe in midnight releases and obscure references. I think it’s more fun to spell gray with an e. I’m a sapiosexual. I know the word sapiosexual. I keep books in my dresser. I own Harry Potter in four different languages. I’m really tired as I write this because I stayed up til 3 a.m. last night to finish a book. I am a nerd. I’ve never really been in the nerd closet but consider this my formal coming out. Feel free to throw me a party.

I’ve been told that I’m not a nerd because I have friends, or some of the “nerdy” indulgences I like are too mainstream, or I’m a confident girl who doesn’t wear glasses. Fuck that reasoning. Who wants that nerd criteria? According to dictionary.com a nerd is a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person or an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with anonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd. Those two definitions contradict each other! Nerd isn’t an intelligence level, it’s a passion. I love how John Green (author and v-logger) describes the concept of a nerd.

To me, this is what nerd means.

That’s the definition of nerd I follow. People who like stuff. The number of other people who also like that stuff remains irrelevant. Nerds possess this rep as emotionless, intellectual, and boring. That’s wrong. It’s lengthy discussion about the air bending gene in Avatar or losing faith in humanity because there’s no second season of Firefly. It’s feelings. It’s fascination. It’s staying up late caught up in a show, movie, or book. It’s using topic specific jargon that fellow nerds of the same subject understand. It’s finding that feeling children have Christmas night and apply it to other aspects of life. Nerds realize the gifts present in life and appreciate them unabashedly.

I want equal rights for nerds. I demand them. It’s time for the dictionary and the public perception to catch up with the times. Rise up and embrace nerdiness in all forms. Go forth and enthuse over the miracle of human consciousness. Upon reflection, we humans have created some pretty amazing things. Appreciate it.

Love stuff already,

Caitlin