Goodbyes!

I just attended the closing dinner and awards ceremony for WUDC Berlin 2013! The event required a lot of well deserved clapping for those involved in the tournament and debaters who did well. I really appreciated that everyone clapped and stood for those who were first place in each category no matter what the student’s country of origin. It’s competitive but a truly friendly environment at the end of the day.

I loved the city and the people so it’s bittersweet to say goodbye. I’m pretty sure I haven’t gotten this little sleep since finals week but I’ve enjoyed missing sleep for this a lot more than I did during finals. I’m honored to have represented Ball State at World’s. I met a lot of great people. Many of them hadn’t heard of Ball State or even Indiana at points. There was a lot of referencing Chicago to explain where we came from, butI think we made positive impressions in the end.

I know a lot of people made positive impressions on me. I have a few extra couches available to crash on if I ever get to explore the world and a great list of recommended places to go.  A special shout out to my friend Russel from Brandeis. He helped us feel less like a team attending World’s for the first time and eventually clued us in on the American section. I think the people really make the tournament and that’s part of why there are socials every night. It’s worth it to meet so many intelligent, fascinating, and opinionated people.

I’ve travelled a few times by now and leaving never gets easier. I miss my friends in Muncie so I’m excited to see them but it’s still hard to leave Berlin. Home is nice but travel is great too. It’s easier to feel enthused to go home knowing that I will travel again. I found this message on the Berlin wall that really encompasses how I feel about travel. Home is not behind you, the world is ahead. I’m ready to recharge at home but I’ll definitely be seeing more of the world again soon. Especially considering how awesome this experience was.

I wish you the world and appreciate your following our journey,

Caitlin

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People I’m not giving my new number

I recently went through a difficult break up with my phone. It was an abusive relationship. Eventually my phone couldn’t take my abuse anymore and died. Don’t worry, I’m seeking counseling. I’m in a new relationship now. My new phone and I love each other very much. Recently we’ve had to have a tough discussion about past baggage. I have a lot of old numbers in my old phone and I don’t really want to bring all of that with me to my new, crack free relationship.

It was time to delete people. I’m too lazy to count but it takes over twenty scrolls to go through my contact list. That’s a lot of contacts. Silly outgoing personality. It was hard deciding who to deny my new number. I’m sure everyone in my contacts list wants to keep in touch with me. Alas, sometimes the past needs to say in the past. So, here’s who I deleted:

People whose whole name I don’t know

Examples of this include “number on a light house” and “Jake hot guy from Taco Bell line”. If I don’t know you’re whole name, we probably don’t need to exchange texts and certainly not phone calls. It’s hard to give up on Jake, but I think we both need to move on. The only time random numbers do come in handy is prank calls. I’m too old for that anyways (okay, maybe not, but I switched phone plans and have limited monthly minutes).

People who only text me after midnight

I have friends and I like sleep. If you text me after midnight (and especially if you’re clearly intoxicated) I don’t want to talk/hang out/swap spit with you. I swear some people only exist between midnight and six a.m. I’m just not that extreme of a partier. Maybe I have an unhealthy relationship with sleep. I can cope with that, at least sleep doesn’t kick me out in the morning.

People who I met at any camp/confrence/etc

I’ve participated in a lot of camps, conferences, and other things where I meet tons of awesome people who I rarely ever talk to again. Once I leave that event I never call these people again. The most common exception occurs when I’m meeting people I actually live near, but that’s not how it usually goes. These people are awesome, fabulous, lovely, and way too far away for the effort of communicating. Sorry.

People who have DNT after their name

I write DNT, my own personal abbreviation for do not text, after the names of people I shouldn’t text. This mostly applies to boys that I text after too much fun or a sad romantic comedy. Numerous reasons exist for the untextable nature of the relationship. Some are jerks and when I’m sane and not afraid of being forever alone I realize I should never talk to that person again. Others like me more than I like them and I know it’s a line I shouldn’t cross. Sometimes it’s even a friend who seems attractive when I’m lonely, but when hormones are in balance and logic returns I realize he’s just bro material. Then a “friends” talk becomes necessary. So not worth the pain! Delete these numbers. Delete them now (yes, even the good kissers)!

People who only mass text

If the only texts I receive from someone say “Hey, what’s everybody doing tonight” I’m not giving that person my new number. I’m neither a mom or a secretary and will not make plans for other people. An occasional what’s up text between friends is fine. It’s those people who only text at the last minute on prime fun nights (Friday, Saturday and some Thursdays) that annoy me. Get on Facebook and Twitter and stalk everyone like a normal human being. At least put some effort into it.

People I wish I had never given my number to in the first place

This one was a little mean and probably the largest category. Getting a new number is like a fabulous time machine. All of those dumb people I gave my number to only to learn they’re super boring or like sports. Gone. It never happened. They cannot contact me via phone! I can even lie about it if I ever see them again. Oops, got a new number. If we were really friends you would’ve seen my facebook status about my broken phone and asked for my new digits. I’ve eliminated, guilt free, an annoying person from my life. As long as they don’t read my blog, they’ll never know.

The results:

I feel a lot better after my spring cleaning of phone contacts. If I really need to, I can contact most of the people I deleted via Facebook, but now when I get a text message, it’s always from someone I actually like. Quality over quantity. I’m not advising smashing your phone to pieces and getting a new number, but try deleting some contacts you never use. It feels surprisingly good.

Call me, maybe?

Caitlin

P.S. Check out my damaged phone. It was dropped, stepped on, and got a little wet. Good thing I have a warranty on my new phone.

P.S.S. An apology to my mother for always breaking things…

My broken phone

oops

You’re not in the friend zone. I just don’t like you.

            In an older postImage I addressed the “nice guy” issue. Now I want to address the “friend zone” issue. If one more person whines about being in the friend zone on Facebook I will defriend said person and hopefully remove some of this stressful friend being from his or her life. The main difference between a friend and a significant other is that a lot more germs are exchanged with a significant other. So presumably the difference between being a friend and being in the friend zone is that one person desires the exchanging of germs and the other person does not.

            Exchanging of germs has little to do with friendship. That is an entirely different issue. No one sorts their acquaintances into people to swap spit with and those in the friend zone. This is a lot like how nice guys want to be liked for being a nice guy. Being my friend doesn’t automatically mean I should date you if I found myself single. What’s the difference between the rejected person who is a friend and the one who isn’t? Isn’t it better to be a friend? At least someone wants to spend time with the “friend zone” person. I refuse to pity you. Friendship is not a carnival game; you don’t win tickets and then get a prize.

            I had a friend in high school that didn’t seem to understand this distinction. My friend Dan (this is a fake name, I chose it specifically because I don’t have any friends named Dan) tried to kiss me one time when we were hanging out. I politely declined. A week or so ago I had made out with some boy at a party. Dan legitimately argued that we were friends so why would I make out with this other guy and not him. Call me crazy, but friendship does not entitle you to anything. That’s not how it works.

            It’s not like girl scouts where you collect badges and then get to cross from friend to lover. People act like friendship is a waiting list for someone to date. I get how society sometimes gives that impression. Especially on TV shows where the few main characters simply swap romantic partners every season or so (like Gossip Girl). However it’s wrong. Being someone’s friend and swapping germs are different. They can coexist but they survive perfectly well on their own.

            You are not being friend zoned. You are a friend and you are being rejected. It has nothing to do with being the person’s friend and everything with not being someone that person wants to date/kiss/whatever it is you want. Sorry. Sucks for you. Go eat some chocolate and get over it. Stop telling me that girls are friend zoning everyone and missing the nice guys. It is not someone’s fault when they find you appealing as a friend and not in other ways. I’m sure someone out there would love your germs. Go find that person and stop creeping on your friend. Kay, thanks.

Best Wishes,

Caitlin

Why I would probably jump off a cliff if my friends did.

Sometimes I do things because my friends are doing those things. I’m not sure why people find this to be such an awful idea. The saying, “would you jump off a cliff if all of your friends were?” makes no sense to me. Of course I would. If my friends were jumping off cliffs there’s probably a giant trampoline at the bottom. Or we have jet packs. Some of my friends are pretty smart. Who the heck are your friends? Bella Swan? Don’t follow her off a cliff. Self-endangerment is not the best method to attract men/women/the undead*. I’d sooner advise using Snooki as a role model and dress like a slut.

            Some examples of stuff I do because my friends do: make pasta, go out to eat, bowl, finish my homework, watch Pretty Little Liars, or read stuff they like on Facebook. None of these are bad things. I’m concerned about people’s ability to wisely pick friends. If you don’t like the things your friends do, maybe you should get some new friends. I hear Facebook is a great place to find them. Feel free to add me as a friend, though I don’t promise to be a good influence.

Best of luck,

Caitlin 

*Upon reflection, self endangerment may be a great way to attract the undead. Like slit your throat and vampires would probably flock to you. This is still a bad plan because most vampires aren’t hot. Edward is not attractive. You’re confused by the media. Google Paul Walker, Brad Pitt, or Shemar Moore. You’re welcome.