I recently went through a difficult break up with my phone. It was an abusive relationship. Eventually my phone couldn’t take my abuse anymore and died. Don’t worry, I’m seeking counseling. I’m in a new relationship now. My new phone and I love each other very much. Recently we’ve had to have a tough discussion about past baggage. I have a lot of old numbers in my old phone and I don’t really want to bring all of that with me to my new, crack free relationship.
It was time to delete people. I’m too lazy to count but it takes over twenty scrolls to go through my contact list. That’s a lot of contacts. Silly outgoing personality. It was hard deciding who to deny my new number. I’m sure everyone in my contacts list wants to keep in touch with me. Alas, sometimes the past needs to say in the past. So, here’s who I deleted:
People whose whole name I don’t know
Examples of this include “number on a light house” and “Jake hot guy from Taco Bell line”. If I don’t know you’re whole name, we probably don’t need to exchange texts and certainly not phone calls. It’s hard to give up on Jake, but I think we both need to move on. The only time random numbers do come in handy is prank calls. I’m too old for that anyways (okay, maybe not, but I switched phone plans and have limited monthly minutes).
People who only text me after midnight
I have friends and I like sleep. If you text me after midnight (and especially if you’re clearly intoxicated) I don’t want to talk/hang out/swap spit with you. I swear some people only exist between midnight and six a.m. I’m just not that extreme of a partier. Maybe I have an unhealthy relationship with sleep. I can cope with that, at least sleep doesn’t kick me out in the morning.
People who I met at any camp/confrence/etc
I’ve participated in a lot of camps, conferences, and other things where I meet tons of awesome people who I rarely ever talk to again. Once I leave that event I never call these people again. The most common exception occurs when I’m meeting people I actually live near, but that’s not how it usually goes. These people are awesome, fabulous, lovely, and way too far away for the effort of communicating. Sorry.
People who have DNT after their name
I write DNT, my own personal abbreviation for do not text, after the names of people I shouldn’t text. This mostly applies to boys that I text after too much fun or a sad romantic comedy. Numerous reasons exist for the untextable nature of the relationship. Some are jerks and when I’m sane and not afraid of being forever alone I realize I should never talk to that person again. Others like me more than I like them and I know it’s a line I shouldn’t cross. Sometimes it’s even a friend who seems attractive when I’m lonely, but when hormones are in balance and logic returns I realize he’s just bro material. Then a “friends” talk becomes necessary. So not worth the pain! Delete these numbers. Delete them now (yes, even the good kissers)!
People who only mass text
If the only texts I receive from someone say “Hey, what’s everybody doing tonight” I’m not giving that person my new number. I’m neither a mom or a secretary and will not make plans for other people. An occasional what’s up text between friends is fine. It’s those people who only text at the last minute on prime fun nights (Friday, Saturday and some Thursdays) that annoy me. Get on Facebook and Twitter and stalk everyone like a normal human being. At least put some effort into it.
People I wish I had never given my number to in the first place
This one was a little mean and probably the largest category. Getting a new number is like a fabulous time machine. All of those dumb people I gave my number to only to learn they’re super boring or like sports. Gone. It never happened. They cannot contact me via phone! I can even lie about it if I ever see them again. Oops, got a new number. If we were really friends you would’ve seen my facebook status about my broken phone and asked for my new digits. I’ve eliminated, guilt free, an annoying person from my life. As long as they don’t read my blog, they’ll never know.
I feel a lot better after my spring cleaning of phone contacts. If I really need to, I can contact most of the people I deleted via Facebook, but now when I get a text message, it’s always from someone I actually like. Quality over quantity. I’m not advising smashing your phone to pieces and getting a new number, but try deleting some contacts you never use. It feels surprisingly good.
Call me, maybe?
P.S. Check out my damaged phone. It was dropped, stepped on, and got a little wet. Good thing I have a warranty on my new phone.
P.S.S. An apology to my mother for always breaking things…